SCALY SEA MONSTER FOUND UNDER BROOKLYN BRIDGE!

Fox News and Gawker have reported that a bizarre, serpentine, scaly, “pitbull” headed carcass has been discovered beneath the legendary Brooklyn Bridge.

New York City has been consumed with the news that a “sea monster” has washed up at the foot of the famed Brooklyn Bridge. The strange 7-foot long beast, dubbed the “EAST RIVER MONSTER,” was found at the foot of the Manhattan side of the bridge on May 21st, 2011, by a Manhattan cyclist who was on his evening commute. Maureen O’Connor — a blogger on the Gawker website, which broke the story — described the critter:

“It had the scales of a fish, body of a serpent, head of a pit bull and was the size of a large alligator.”

Theories as to this UNCLASSIFIED creature’s origins have run the gamut from SEA MONSTER to a KELPIE-like creature to a LAKE MONSTER that got washed out to sea. Skeptics, of course,  wasted no time in pronouncing that the animal was nothing more than an Atlantic sturgeon.

Julika Wocial, rescue program supervisor for the Riverhead Foundation, said that the CURIOUS CARCASS was difficult to classify:

“Those scaly things? The body itself looks like a sturgeon, the skull looks kind of weird … but maybe it’s the view… it doesn’t really look like a sturgeon.”

This may be the greatest monster mystery in New York since the infamous MONTAUK MONSTER.

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One Response to “SCALY SEA MONSTER FOUND UNDER BROOKLYN BRIDGE!”

  1. The Shadow In The Mask
    February 20, 2012 at 3:26 pm #

    Definitely a sturgeon.

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