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Lovers Lane

The story is a campfire classic…

A young couple on their first date, a drive-in double feature, a long ride home through the country, a car that sputters to a halt on a lonely stretch of backwoods road because the juvenile hot-rodder who managed to wrangle dad’s keys “accidentally” forgot to fill the tank, two teenagers, alone, surrounded by darkness — save, perhaps, the dim, greenish illumination provided by the dashboard clock .

The situation becomes heated and windows start to fog as post-pubescent hormones rage in a cacophony of pre-nuptial bliss, then — just as their passion reaches a fever pitch, yup, you guessed it —  Something… SOMETHING BIG… moves in the shadows just beyond the breath-fogged windshield.

At this point the story can take any one of two dozen twists, depending on local legends, environment and sobriety levels. From this moment on these young lovers are prone to encounter any number of classic boogeyman who might proceed to throw rocks, strike the hood of the car with alarming ferocity or attempt to force their way through a cracked window in an effort to do one or both of the youngsters bodily harm.

If not a hideous, horned man-beast, then perhaps the couple’s gaze will fall upon a fiendish, hook appendaged man with an unearthly grin… or maybe an 8-foot tall, ape-like creature covered with filthy, matted fur, that reaches through the window to entwine it’s gnarled fingers in the young woman’s hair…

Occasionally all they’ll see is a pair of glowing eyes, and at other times it’s a bipedal lizard with huge talons, which rakes tendrils of paint off the side of dad’s’ brand new Buick. Whatever these creatures are, there is one thing for sure… they’re often mean, forever ugly and almost always manage to ruin the mood.

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